If my husband cheats on me, can I cheat on him to seek revenge?
One of the secrets of life that most people seem to have a very difficult time with is that there are no boundaries.
You CAN do anything you want at any time. Nothing is physically preventing you from cheating now any more than was preventing you before he cheated. In fact nothing is preventing you from doing anything at all, from driving 1000 miles to murder to starting a business or anything else you can imagine.
What you really must consider is not whether you can or can’t, or even whether you should or shouldn’t – since this is purely a product of the situational specifics and your culture and beliefs. What you need to consider, firstly, what will be the consequences, and second, are those consequences something you’re willing to endure.
Force yourself out of the hot red emotion of the moment and think through what the fallout will be for the next six months, year, 5 years. Look for alternatives that, instead of just getting revenge, will put you in a better position. Play the long game. If your ultimate goal is to really hurt him, thinking it through could lead to something truly devastating. Or if you have had your eye on this other guy for a long time this opportunity presents a reasonable excuse to “test the waters”, rather than an impulsive moment that destroys any chance of a further relationship, a longer view could create a more stable situation for you.
Or if you just are in the mood for a fling to blow off some steam and you have zero interest in real divorce, talking to your husband ahead of time could come to an arrangement that alleves both of your boredom longer term without endangering the actual marriage.
Regardless of the approach you end up taking, step one is to calm down and employ your rational mind and decide what you really want to walk away with as a benefit out of this situation. The ball is currently in your court and you’re a point ahead with him being the bad guy. Be careful not to squander the opportunity.